Was It You, or Was It the Feeling?

 Lately I've had this thought on my mind.

Do we actually like certain people, or do we just like the feeling of being chosen by them?

Because there is a difference.

Sometimes i sit and wonder if i miss a person, or if i just miss their attention. Their compliments. Their texts. Their calls. The feeling of knowing that, out of everyone , they decided to pick me. 

And maybe that's the part we don't like to admit. 

Being wanted feels so good. 

It makes someone seem more interesting than they actually are. And suddenly, the person who barely gave you a second thought becomes the person that you're thinking about all day. Not necessarily because you know them that well, but because they made you feel so special. 

And when that attention disappears? 

That is when the real crisis begins. 

You start to ask yourself all types of questions. Did i do something wrong? What happened? Why don't they want me anymore?

But maybe the better questions are: 

Did i just want to feel wanted, or did i actually want them? 

I think that sometimes we confuse attraction with validation. We try to convince ourselves that we like someone because they make our heart race when we really just like how we feel when they notice us. 

There's something addictive about being someone's favorite person even if its temporarily .

Being chosen isn't the same thing as being loved. 

The attention isn't the same thing as a connection. 

You can miss someone's presence without actually missing them. You can miss the late nights you shared, the conversations, the butterflies, the notifications , and the possibilities of what something could have become. 

Sometimes, I think we fall in love with the potential a person has.

The version of them that existed in our heads.

The versions where they finally say exactly what we want to hear. Where they realize our worth. Where everything will finally make sense.

But real people aren't fantasies.

They have flaws. They change their minds, they disappoint us. Sometimes they simply aren't the person we imagined them to be. 

And maybe that's okay. 

Maybe growing up means learning to ask ourselves whether we genuinely want that someone in our lives. Or whether we're just afraid of what it means when they don't choose us.

I don't want to become quieter, smaller, easier, prettier, or more convenient just to keep someone interested.

I want to be chosen because someone actually knows me. 

Not the version of me that they created in their heads.

Not because I'm entertaining

Not because I'm availble

Not because i give them attention back.

Just because I'm me. 

And maybe that's the real crisis:

Sometimes the person we're trying our hardest to be chosen by isn't even someone we'd choose if we weren't so busy trying to win them over.

So maybe before we ask ourselves ,

"Why don't they want me"

We should ask ourselves.

"Do i even want them?"

Because being chosen may feel good.

But choosing yourself feels much better.

Until next time remember, stay pretty and stay curious. XOXO DIVA