Changing Seasons, Changing People

 There is something about a new season that makes me just stop and think. 

The weather starts to change, the days start to feel different, and you suddenly start to realize that time has been moving whether you were ready for it or not. One season quickly ends, and another beings. And i guess people can be a lot like seasons, too.  

Some people come into your life when you need them the most. They bring something new with them.. new memories, new experiences, new versions of yourself that you never knew even existed. For a while, it can feel impossible to imagine your life without them. You get used to their presence, their voice, the conversations, and all of the little moments that slowly become a part of your everyday life.  

But just like the seasons, sometimes people change. 

Sometimes they leave without warnings. Sometimes life just simply takes you in different directions. And sometimes nobody did anything wrong.. you just aren't meant to stay in the same chapter forever. 

I think that's one of the hardest things about growing up: realizing that not everyone you love will always be physically close to you. People move. People change. People start new lives in different cities, different states , and sometimes different parts of the world. 

But maybe distance doesn't always mean. losing someone. 

There is something about knowing that the people you truly love never completely leave your heart. You can go months without seeing someone and still laugh like no time has passed when you're finally together again. You can miss someone's presence but still carry the memories you made with them everywhere you go. 

And if you're lucky, the people you miss aren't gone forever. 

Maybe they're just a plane ride away. 

Maybe one day, you'll find yourself sitting across from them again, talking about everything has changed since the last time you saw each other. Maybe you'll realize that even though life kept moving and the seasons continued to change, some connections were strong enough to survive the distance. 

So as this new season beings, I'm trying to remind myself not to be afraid of change. 

Not every season is meant to last forever. But that doesn't mean it wasn't beautiful while it was here. 

Some people are only meant to be part of one chapter. Some stay for several. And the lucky ones? They become part of the story no matter how many miles are between you. 

Because seasons will always change. 

Cities will change.

People will come and go.

 But love has a funny way of finding a way to stay. 

And i guess that's the comforting part about growing up: even when people are no longer right beside you, the ones you truly love are never really that far away. Sometimes they're always in your heart... and if you're lucky, just a plane ride away. 

So as the seasons in your life continue to change, who is someone you'll always carry with you, no matter how far away they are? 

     Until Next Time. XOXO DIVA 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The One Who's Always Doing The Choosing

 There's a strange kind of loneliness that comes from always feeling like your the second choice.

Not necessarily because someone tells you that you are, but because of the way things happen.  You notice who gets chosen first. Who gets the phone calls. who gets the invitations. Who gets the effort without having to ask for it. And eventually, you start wondering, When is it going to be me?

I feel like i'm always the one doing the choosing. I'm always the one deciding who i want around, who i want to talk to, who i want to give another chance to. I'm constantly making decisions about people, but i rarely feel like someone is making that same decision about me. 

And honestly, I'm tired of it. 

I don't want to always be the person who cares first. I don't want to wonder whether someone actually wants me around or if i'm just convenient. I want to know what it feels like to be chosen without having to question it.  

Maybe that's the part that hurts the most.. not being alone, but wondering if someone would choose me if they had every option in the world.

I don't want to be someone's backup plan. I don't want to be the person they come back to when the first choice doesn't work out. I want to be someone's "Of course i choose you. And only you" 

Maybe i've spent to much time choosing other people that i forgot to ask myself why i keep accepting places where i'm not being chosen back. 

And maybe the real question isn't just, when am i going to be chosen?

Maybe it's, When am i going to stop settling for being an option? 

Because i know i deserve to be someone's first choice. 

I just wish i knew when it would finally be my turn.

So i ask you, Who are you still choosing that has never chosen you back? 

XOXO, DIVA  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Rewind

 There's always that one person.

The person we somehow find ourselves going back to , no matter how many times we said we were done. The person we swore we would never speak to again, only to find ourselves wondering about them days, weeks, months, or even years later.

And sometimes, I wonder why.

Why do we tend to hold on to the people who have already shown us that they can hurt us? Why does knowing exactly how something ends not always stop us from wanting to start it again?  

Maybe it's because we remember the good parts louder than to bad ones.

We like to remember the late nights, conversations, the inside jokes, and the moments when everything feels easy. We remember who they were when things were good, and sometimes we confuse missing the version of them with missing the person the person they are now.

But familiarity can be so powerful. Someone can feel like home simply because we've spent so much time with them. And sometimes we have to remind ourselves that something being familiar doesn't automatically make it healthy.

Maybe going back isn't always about wanting the person back.

But maybe sometimes we're looking for some type of closure. Maybe we're hoping they'll finally become the person we wanted them to be. Or maybe we're just having a hard time accepting that something we cared about has changed. 

But eventually, there will come a moment when we have to ask ourselves:

Am I going back because this person is actually good for me, or because letting go feels much harder?

Because sometimes the hardest person to leave isn't the person we love the most.

It's the person we're still hoping will finally give us the ending we want and deserve.

XOXO, DIVA.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Standards...

 I was talking to a friend today about a past relationship of hers. She explained why she thought it was best for them to just call it quits. 

And when she started telling me about all of the little things that he would do to upset her, I understood. It wasn't necessarily that he was a terrible person. He just wasn't the right person for her. The things she wanted in a relationship weren't the things that he was able or willing to give to her.

And honestly, it got me thinking about standards.

Standards are something we all should have, They're the things we decide we deserve, the way we expect to be treated and the things we simply aren't willing to settle for.

But here's the thing: Not everyone's standards are the same.

What I may consider a dealbreaker might not bother you at all.What you need from a relationship might be the complete opposite. And that's okay.

Sometimes we spend so much time trying to convince ourselves that someone is " good enough" because they aren't a bad person. But someone can be a good person and still not be the person that is right for you.

Maybe the real question isn't " Are my standards too high?"  

Maybe its " Does this person actually meet the standards that I have set for myself?"

Because at the end of the day, I'd rather be alone that constantly lowering my standards just to keep someone around. 

And maybe that's not being picky. Maybe that's knowing yourself.

Have you ever had to choose between lowering your standards and letting someone go?

 Until Next Time, XOXO DIVA  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My Mr. Big

 Every girl has their version of Mr. Big. Not necessarily the same kind of man, but the one person who somehow manages to become a recurring character in the story of your life. 

For me, there's a person who feels a little like my own Mr. Big. He's the kind of person that can disappear for a while and still find his way back into my life and thoughts. There's something about him that I just can't completely explain. Maybe it's our chemistry. Or our history. Maybe it's the simple fact that some people leave an impression on you that doesn't disappear just because  the time is passing. 

My Mr. Big isn't perfect. And that might be part of the problem. There are moments when I wonder if I like him or if I like the story I've built around him. There's something exciting about not knowing exactly where we stand, but there's also something exhausting about it. Sometimes the uncertainty feels romantic until you realize you're the one left trying to figure out what everything means.

And maybe this is what makes someone a " Mr. Big" it isn't necessarily that they're the love of your life. Its simply because there the person who makes you question what love is supposed to be like. They are the one who challenges your expectations , test your patience, and becomes a reference point for every person that is to come after them.

But I'm starting to wonder if every story needs their own Mr. Big to have the happy ending they want. 

Maybe sometimes the lesson isn't about getting the person you've been waiting on. Maybe it's realizing that you deserve someone that won't leave you constantly wondering where you stand.

So , yes, I have a Mr. Big. And maybe he'll always be a small chapter in my story or maybe he'll surprise me and become something more.

But for now , I'm learning that being unforgettable and being right for mean are two different things with two different meanings.

Maybe the real question isn't, " Who is my Mr. Big?" but " Why did I ever think that love had to feel like a big question mark?" 

Until Next Time, XOXO DIVA  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Currently: Figuring It Out

 An honest little update from a girl who is definitely does NOT have it all figured out.

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about how weird it is to grow up.

There's these strange expectations that at some point, you're supposed to suddenly know exactly who you are , what you want in life, where you're going , and how you're going to get there. As if one morning you're going to wake up and think " Oh. Perfect. I have a five -year plan"

Well... I don't

And honestly? Im starting to realize that it is perfectly fine.

Right now, I'm somehow somewhere between knowing exactly what I want and having no idea on what I'm doing. I have plans. I have dreams. I have things that I'm excited about . But I also have the questions probably more that I have answers to.

Im figuring out what kind of person I want to become in the future.

Im figuring out which friendships are meant to grow with me and which ones I'm meant to grow out of.

Im figuring out what I actually want instead of what I should want,

Im figuring out how to stop comparing my life to everyone else's.

Because sometimes it feels like everyone is moving at full speed while I'm just stuck standing the same spot watching everyone else get somewhere. But maybe I'm not standing there just watching. Maybe I'm just taking a different route.

Maybe becoming yourself takes a little longer than we expect.

And maybe growing up isn't about suddenly having all of the answers, But maybe it's about being brave enough to admit that you don't have them just yet.

There are things about my future that still scare me. There are things that I'm still excited about. There are things I'm completely unsure about. And there are parts of myself that I'm still trying to get to know.

But for the first time in a while, I don't feel the need to rush the process.

I can change my mind.

I can outgrow things.

I can start over.

I can figure it out as I go.

I can be a work in progress and still be proud of who I am at the moment.

So currently,

 Im figuring it out.

Not perfectly because nothing is perfect. Not gracefully. Sometimes with a little drama. 

But I'm still figuring it out .

And maybe that's just enough right now.

So, what are you currently trying to figure out about yourself?

Until next time, XOXO DIVA  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The things I’m leaving behind

 I’m starting to realize that I carry a lot of things. And I’m done Carrying the emotional things rather than just the physical things.

The people pleasing and constantly worrying about what everyone else thinks about me.

The old versions of myself and realizing that I Don’t have to stay who I once was before.

The relationships that only exist because of the history that I have sometimes knowing someone for a long time, doesn’t mean that they belong in my future.

I don’t need to explain myself and realize that not, every decision needs a courtroom defense.

Comparing my timeline to everyone else’s, especially when it feels like everyone is moving faster than I am.

The romanticizing what hurt me remembering the good without forgetting why I had to leave it all behind.

Being afraid of starting over and accepting that a fresh start isn’t necessarily a failure.

The pressure that I have to have everything figured out  without giving myself permission to simply just be able to process.

Waiting for the perfect “version” of myself before even enjoying my life.

The guilt of outgrowing things that I once loved.

Maybe leaving things behind isn’t about forgetting them. Maybe it’s finally about deciding that they don’t get to follow you into new chapters in your life .And that enable to grow you have to let go.

So ask yourself what are you leaving behind? And what are you finally ready to let go of ?

Until next time, XOXO DIVA