The People We Almost Become

 Somehow and somewhere between childhood and adulthood we quietly become strangers to the people we used to be.

Not all at once, of course . It's sort of subtle. One day you stop listening to the songs that you love and knew better than anyone else. You out grow your coffee order. You stop waiting for the text that used to determine whether you would have a good day or bad day. And somehow, without even realizing it , the person you were slips right out the back door without even saying goodbye. 

Maybe growing up isn't just about one big transformation. Maybe it's a collection of the tiny goodbyes. 

I wonder about the versions of myself that never made it here with me. The girl who thought she'd have everything figured out by eighteen. The one who actually believed every friendship would last forever. The one who thought life would follow a perfectly highlighted plan. 

And yet.

She wasn't wrong.

Just hopeful.

We spend so much time trying to chase the next version of ourselves that we rarely stopped to thank the old ones for getting us this far. Even the messy versions. Especially the messy ones. The overthinker, The insecure girl. The dreamer who said yes too quickly and cried even easier. They all did their best with what they knew. 

Sometimes i catch myself romanticizing about the person i used to be, forgetting that i worked so hard  to outgrow them. It's funny how nostalgia has a way of editing out all of the hard parts leaving only the golden hour.

And maybe that's why change feels so bittersweet. Every new beginning is quietly asking us to leave something behind. 

A fear.

A habit.

A belief.

A dream that no longer fits. 

We tend to celebrate becoming someone new, but rarely talk about what it costs to get there.

 And maybe that's okay.

After all, every chapter deserves to end so that a new one can begin.

And maybe the people we almost became weren't missed opportunities or failures. Maybe they were just simply stepping stones pointing us towards the person who was waiting on us all along.  

And I couldn't help but wonder... if we're always becoming someone new, is growing up about us finding ourselves or learning to actually thank every version of ourselves that helped us get here?