Somewhere between being who I was and who I'll be, i think i got lost in the map.
When we're kids, growing up feels so obvious. Every birthday was another step closer to the person we're supposed to become. But they never talk about what happens when you're standing in the middle of it. When you're old enough to make your own decisions but you're still so young and you question every single one of them.
Lately, I've began to realize that growing up isn't just one big transformation. It's quieter than that. It's choosing a different path than you would of imagined. It's changing your mind without the guilty feelings. It's the discovering that the things you wanted at sixteen don't always fit the person you're going to become at eighteen.
Maybe that's why change feels so uncomfortable. You're saying goodbye's to versions of yourself that once felt permanent. To the girl that thought she had everything figured out. The one who believed life would just follow in a neat little timeline. The one who thought uncertainty meant she was doing something wrong.
But what if uncertainty isn't a sign that we're lost? What is it's proof that we're still just growing up?
Maybe becoming someone you've never met isn't about reinventing yourself. Maybe it's about slowly "introducing" yourself to the person who's been there all along, just waiting for you to catch up.
There are days when the future feels exciting, and days when if feels impossibly far away. I don't think either feeling is wrong. I think they're both just a part of becoming.
Maybe the best version of ourselves don't appear all at once. Maybe she arrives during the tiny moments. From a little more confidence than yesterday, a little kinder to herself, and a little less afraid of not knowing what's next.
And maybe that's just enough for now.
Because i couldn't help but wonder... If we're all strangers to our future selves, isn't that what makes meeting them so exciting?
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